Happy V-Day!

How have you been spending your V-Day? I can tell you, I spent it with 300 plus people in court-- JURY DUTY! Let me preface with I've always liked doing jury duty for the most part. I've served 3 times in Los Angeles, with a positive attitude even when I was stuck at the downtown moldy old courthouse in their dirty smelly waiting rooms. I was hoping the jury gods would smile on me and not force me to serve this time because as you may well know I have 2 language classes. TWO! Anyway the juris gods were not and at 8am I was walking through the Fremont Street Experience to get to the courthouse.

Nevada has the one day, one case system. For my foreign friends, this means that they have one day to assign a person onto a specific jury case (a typical case lasts 3-5 days) If they don't, I am free to go for the next 18 months. If I am assigned to a case, I get $40 per day, starting my second day seated on a "panel." The old way which I am sure many of you remember, is to be "on" jury duty for 10 days or 1 case. The time is spent in a holding tank reading, knitting etc while waiting to get assigned a panel. I've gone the 10 days and then on the last day been assigned a case that then has kept me there another few days.

A big difference between Los Angeles and Las Vegas (and probably the rest of the world) is that the orientation video in Los Angeles has celebrities doing it. Danny Glover might thank you for serving, Meg Ryan might come on and say it's a bitch but even someone like her does it, Chewbacca is detained at the metal detector etc. I miss that- today's video just had court staffers. I was hoping for Celine to say her that like her heart, justice will go on, the tiger from Seigfried & Roy etc...

A big similarity is the freakshow that is there in the waiting room. A woman with her white bear holding a red heart raised her hand and asked if she could get out early because it's Valentine's Day because her and Mr. Snuggles (who she then had wave his arm) would like to go as they have plans.

However, my day was different in that I am being considered for a high profile case. A 4 month high profile case, UG! This would not bode well with my foreign language education. Because it's a big high profile case (and before anyone gets excited, it would be a BORING big high profile case. After Feb 26, I can tell you all about it) instead of being questioned in the courtroom by the judge and attorneys, I got to fill out a 43 page questionnaire. Once that was filled out, I was excused for the day until Feb. 26 with the instructions not to read or watch local news. Because of my circumstance, I am an unappealing choice as a juror and I was sure to make that clear on at least 42.5 of the 43 pages. I am not sure if Mr. Snuggles or his holder filled out the form. I figure he's the brains of the outfit, but being a teddy bear, no opposable thumb.

Since I can't tell you about this case, I thought I would let you know about a previous one I sat. I was on a hooker trial! A "masseusse" was caught in a prostitution sting at a hotel by LAX. The undercover cop ordered her up and they agreed to "full-service" which got her arrested. He said full service is common lingo for sex while she said that it meant topless massage.

Though she was supposed to have had dozens of condoms on her, only 4 were booked into evidence. 4 MAGNUM. The cop said that there were more, but he only checked 4 in. She said that there were only 4 on her and that they were for her well-endowed bf whom she was spending the weekend with. Further she said if she was going to use them for work, she wouldn't have magnums.

We heard a lot of talk about her bf's big schlong and yes, pictures of it were defendent's exhibit 1-5. We were more interested in seeing the man behind it. I know immature. Anyway, when he finally did show up, he was this tiny little middle aged man that tittered on the stand. It was the goofiest thing. I guess it is a guy thing because he was thrilled to keep the conversation focused on his lap taffy, but when they asked about his GF, he acted coy and then looked at the ladies of the jury. It was bad. He winked at me. He even asked if we were going to get to see the pictures soon. Ug. We did look at pics of his wedding tackle in the juror room, which btw, looking at naked junk pictures with a bunch of strangers, very surreal.

Tonight I have a date in the library with my study pal to prepare for a Spanish test. I am thrilled. Maybe we will hold hands under the table and pretend. Considering WHN has said nothing about V-Day, not even HAPPY, going this alternate route may be more doable than previously thought ;)